SEPTEMBER 7 th.

                                                      ludi scaenici   

_____________________________

THE SUBJECT :

CREON, King of Thebes, being at war with the Teleboans or Taphians, under the command of Ptereias, sends an army against them. This is commanded by Amphitryon, who leaves his wife Alcmena pregnant at his departure from Thebes. During his absence from home, Jupiter, assuming his form, and Mercury that of his servant Sosia, present themselves to Alcmena, as though just returned from the expedition against the Taphians. By means of this stratagem, Jupiter is admitted to the embraces of Alemena. While Mercury is keeping watch at the door of Amphitryon's house, Sosia, who has just arrived at Thebes with Amphitryon, makes his appearance for the purpose of announcing to Alemena his master's return. Mercury, pretending that he himself is the real Sosia, and that the other is an impostor, drives him away from the door. He goes back to his master, who returns with him to the house, and on meeting Alemena, she denies his assertion that he has but that moment returned from the expedition, and now presents himself to her for the first time since his return. On this, Amphitryon charges her with infidelity, and goes away to the harbour to find a witness who may persuade Alcmena of the truth of his assertions. When he returns, he is first driven away from the house by Mercury, and is afterwards accused by Jupiter of attempting to personate Amphitryon, which person Jupiter asserts himself to be. The dispute is referred to Blepharo, the pilot of Amphitryon, who. after making minute enquiries into the matter, professes himself utterly unable to decide between them. In the Fifth Act, at the moment in which Alemena is delivered of Hercules and Iphiclus, a violent. peal of thunder is heard, and Amphitryon swoons with the shock. Bromia, the attendant of Alemena, comes out of the house, and having raised Amphitryon from the ground, on his recovery informs him of the delivery of Alcmena. At this juncture, Jupiter descends in his own character, and reveals the mystery to Amphitryon, who then becomes reconciled with his wife.

THE ACROSTIC ARGUMENT. [Supposed to have been written by Priscian the Grammarian.]

JUPITER, being captivated by love (Amore) for Alcmena, has changed (Mutavit) himself into the form of her husband, while Amphitryon is fighting for (Pro) his country with the foe; in the form (Habitu) of Sosia, Mercury acts as his servant. He (Is) imposes upon the master and the servant, on their arrival. Amphitryon commences a quarrel (Turbas) with his wife; and Jupiter and Amphitryon seize (Raptant) one another as adulterers. Blepharo, chosen as umpire, is not able to determine which of the two (Uter ) is Amphitryon. At last they understand all (Omnem) the matter; and she brings forth twins.

JUPITER, : who personates Amphitryon.

MERCURY, : who personates Sosia.

AMIPHITYON, : the Theban General.

SOSIA, : the servant of Amphitryon.

BLEPHARO, : the Pilot of Amphitryon's Ship.

AN ACTOR.

ALCMENA, : wife of Amphitryon.

BROMIA, THESSALA  : attendants of Alemena.

Enter SOSIA, with a Lantern.

SOSIA  (to himself) . What other person is there more bold than I, or who more stout of heart, who know the humours of young men , and who am walking at this hour of night alone? What shall I do, if now the officers of the watch should thrust me into prison. To-morrow shall I be dealt out from there , just as though from a store-closet, for a whipping; nor will it be allowed me to plead my cause, nor will there be a bit of aid from my master; nor will there be a person but that they will imagine, all of them, that I am deserving. And so will eight sturdy fellows be thumping on wretched me just like an anvil; in this way, just come from foreign parts, I shall be received with hospitality by the public. The inconsiderateness of my master compels me to this, who has packed me off from the harbour at this time of night whether I would or no. Couldn't he as well have sent me here by daylight? For this reason, is servitude to a man of high station a greater hardship; for this reason is the servant of a wealthy man the more wretched: both night and day, without ceasing, there is enough, and more than enough of work for him; for doing or for saying occasion is ever arising, so that you can't be at rest. The master, abounding in servants , and free from labour himself; thinks that whatever he happens to choose, can be done; he thinks that just, and reckons not what the labour is; nor will he ever consider whether he commands a thing that's reasonable or unreasonable. Wherefore, in servitude many hardships do befall us; in pain this burden must be borne and endured.

MERCURY  ( (to the AUDIENCE) ). 'Twere with better reason for me to complain of servitude after this fashion; I, who to-day was free, and whom my father is now employing as a slave: this fellow is complaining, who was born a slave.

SOSIA  (to himself) . Really I am a rascal beyond a doubt; for only this moment it has suggested itself to me, that on my arrival I should give thanks, and address the Gods for their kindnesses vouchsafed. For surely, by my troth, if they were only desirous to give me a return according to my deserts, they would commission some person on my arrival soundly to box my ears, since those kindnesses which they have done me I have held as worthless and of no value.

MERCURY  (apart) . He does what people are not generally in the habit of doing, in knowing what his deserts are.

SOSIA  (to himself) . What I never expected, nor any one else of my townsmen, to befall him, that same has come to pass, for us to come home safe and sound. Victorious, the enemy conquered, the troops are returning home, this very mighty war brought to an end, and the enemy slain. A city that has caused many a bitter death for the Theban people, that same has been conquered by the strength and valour of our soldiers, and taken by storm, under the command and conduct of my master Amphitryon in especial. With booty, territory, and glory⁵ , too, has he loaded his fellow-citizens, and for Creon, King of Thebes, has he firmly fixed his sway. From the harbour he has sent me before him to his house that I may bear these tidings to his wife, how he has promoted the public good by his guidance, conduct, and command. This now will I consider, in what manner I shall address her, when I've arrived there. If I tell a falsehood. I shall be doing as I am accustomed after my usual wont; for when they were fighting with all their might, then with all my might I ran away. But still I shall pretend as though I was present, and I'll tell her what I heard. But in what manner and with what expressions it is right for me to tell my story, I still wish first to consider here with myself. (He assumes an attitude of thought.) In these terms will I give this narrative. "In the first place, when we arrived there, when first we made land, Amphitryon immediately made choice of the powerful men among the chieftains. Those he despatched on the embassy, and bade them tell his mind to the Teleboans; that if without constraint and without warfare they should be ready to deliver up what was plundered and the plunderers, and if they should be ready to restore what they had carried off, he would immediately conduct the army homewards, that the Greeks would depart from their territory, and that he would grant peace and quietness to them : but if they should be otherwise disposed, and not concede the things which he demanded, he, in consequence, would attack their city with extreme violence and with his men. When the embassadors had repeated these things, which Amphitryon had enjoined, in order to the Teleboans, being men stout of heart, relying on their valour, and confident in their prowess, they rebuked our embassadors very rudely. They answered that they were able in warfare to protect themselves and theirs, and that at once they must lead the army with all haste out of their territories. When the embassadors brought back this message, straightway Amphitryon drew out all his army from the encampment; on the other side, the Teleboans led forth their legions from the town, furnished with most gorgeous arms. After they had gone forth on either side in full array, the soldiers were marshalled, the ranks were formed. We, after our manner and usage, drew up our legions; the enemy, too, drew up their legions facing us. Then either general went forth into the mid-space beyond the throng of the ranks, and they parleyed together. It was agreed between them, that, which ever side should be conquered in that battle, they should surrender up their city, lands, altars, hearths. and theraselves. After that was done, the trumpets on either side gave the signal; the earth re-echoed, they raised a shout on either side. Each general, both upon this side and on that, offered vows to Jupiter, and then encouraged his troops. Each man according to his ability does that which each one can and has the strength to do; he smites with his falchion; the weapons crash; the welkin bellows with the uproar of the men; of breaths and pantings a cloud is formed; men fall by wounds inflicted by men. At length, as we desired, our troops conquered; the foe fell in numbers; ours, on the other hand, pressed on; firm in our strength, we were victorious. But still not one betook himself to flight, nor yet gave way at his post, but standing there⁶ he waged the combat. Sooner than quit the spot, they parted with their lives; each, as he stood, lay there and kept his rank in death. When my master Amphitryon saw this, at once he ordered the cavalry on the right to charge. The cavalry obeyed directly; from the right wing, with a tremendous shout, with brisk onset they rushed on; and rightfully did they slaughter and trample down the impious forces of the foe."

MERCURY  (apart) . Not even one word of these has he yet uttered correctly; for I was there in the battle personally, and my father too, when it was fought.

SOSIA  (continuing) . "The enemy betook themselves to flight. Then was new spirit added to our men, the Teleboans flying, with darts were their bodies filled, and Amphitryon himself, with his own hand, struck off the head of Pterelas their king. This battle was being fought there even from the morning till the evening. This do I the better remember for this reason; because on that day I went without my breakfast. But night at last, by its interposing, cut short this combat. The next day, the chiefs came weeping from the city to us at the camp. With covered hands , they entreated us to pardon their offences; and they all surrendered rendered up themselves. and all things divine and human, their city and their children, into the possession and unto the disposal of the Theban people. Lastly, by reason of his valour, a golden goblet was presented to my master Amphitryon, from which king Pterelas had been used to drink." These things I'll thus tell my mistress. I'll now proceed to obey my master's order and to betake me home. (He moves.)

MERCURY  (apart) . Heyday! he's about to come this way; I'll go meet him; and I'll not permit this fellow at any time to-day to approach this house. Since I have his form upon myself, I'm resolved to play the fellow off. And indeed, since I have taken upon me his figure and his station, it is right for me likewise to have actions and manners like to his. Therefore it befits me to be artful, crafty, very cunning, and by his own weapon, artfulness, to drive him from the door. But what means this? He is looking up at the sky. I'll watch what scheme he's about.

SOSIA  (looking up at the sky) . Upon my faith, for sure, if there is aught besides that I believe, or know for certain, I do believe that this night the God of Night has gone to sleep drunk; for neither does the Wain move itself in any direction in the sky, nor does the Moon bestir herself anywhere from where she first arose; nor does Orion , or the Evening Star, or the Pleiades, set. In such a fashion are the stars standing stock-still, and the night is yielding not a jot to the day.

MERCURY  (apart) . Go on, Night, as you've begun, and pay obedience to my father. In best style , the best of services are you performing for the best of beings; in giving this, you reap a fair return.

SOSIA  (to himself) . I do not think that I have ever seen a longer night than this, except one of like fashion, which livelong night I was hanging up, having been first whipped. Even that as well, by my troth, does this one by far exceed in its length. I' faith, I really do believe that the Sun's asleep, and is thoroughly drenched. It's a wonder to me if he hasn't indulged himself a little too much at dinner.

MERCURY  (apart) . Do you really say so, you scoundrel? Do you think that the Gods are like yourself? I' faith, you hang-dog, I'll entertain you for these speeches and misdeeds of yours; only come this way, will you, and you'll find your ruin.

SOSIA  (to himself) . Where are those wenchers, who unwillingly lie a-bed alone? A rare night this for making the best of what was a bad bargain at first .

MERCURY  (apart) . My father then, according to this fellow's words, is doing rightly and wisely, who in his amorousness, indulging his passion, is lying in the embraces of Alcmena.

SOSIA  (to himself) . I'll go tell Alemena, as my master ordered me. ((Advancing, he discovers MERCURY.)) But who is this fellow that I see before the house at this time of night? I don't like it.

MERCURY  (aside) . There is not in existence another such cowardly fellow as this.

SOSIA  (aside) . Now, when I think of it, this fellow wishes to take my mantle off once more .

MERCURY  (aside) . The fellow's afraid; I'll have some sport with him.

SOSIA  (aside) . I'm quite undone, my teeth are chattering. For sure, on my arrival, he is about to receive me with the hospitality of his fist. He's a merciful person, I suppose; now, because my master has obliged me to keep awake, with his fists just now he'll be making me go to sleep. I'm most confoundedly undone. Troth now, prithee, look, how big and how strong he is.

MERCURY  (aside) . I'll talk at him aloud, he shall hear what I say. Therefore indeed, in a still greater degree, shall he conceive fears within himself. (In a loud voice, holding up his fists.) Come, fists, it's a long time now since you found provision for my stomach; it seems to have taken place quite a long time ago, when yesterday you laid four men asleep, stript naked.

SOSIA  (aside) . I'm dreadfully afraid lest I should be changing my name here, and become a Quintus instead of a Sosia. He declares that he has laid four men asleep; I fear lest I should be adding to that number.

MERCURY  (throwing about his arms) . Well, now then for it. This is the way I intend.

SOSIA  (aside) . He is girded tight; for sure, he's getting himself ready.

MERCURY  He shan't get off without getting a thrashing.

SOSIA  (aside) . What person, I wonder? MERC. Beyond a doubt, whatever person comes this way, he shall eat my fists.

SOSIA  (aside) . Get out with you, I don't wish to eat at this time of night; I've lately dined. Therefore do you, if you are wise, bestow your dinner on those who are hungry.

MERCURY  The weight of this fist is no poor one.

SOSIA  (aside) . I'm done for; he is poising his fists.

MERCURY  What if I were to touch him, stroking him down, so that he may go to sleep?

SOSIA  (aside) . You would be proving my salvation; for I've been watching most confoundedly these three nights running .

MERCURY  My hand refuses to learn to strike his cheek; it cannot do a disgraceful action. Hand of mine, of a changed form must he become whom you smite with this fist.

SOSIA  (aside) . This fellow will be furbishing me up, and be moulding my face anew.

MERCURY  (to his fist) . The man that you hit full, his face must surely be boned.

SOSIA  (aside) . It's a wonder if this fellow isn't thinking of boning me just like a lamprey. Away with a fellow that bones people! If he sees me, I'm a dead man.

MERCURY  Some fellow is stinking to his destruction.

SOSIA  (aside) . Woe to me! Is it I that stink?

MERCURY  And he cannot be very far off; but he has been a long way off from here.

SOSIA  (aside) . This person's a wizard .

MERCURY  My fists are longing.

SOSIA  (aside) . If you are going to exercise them upon me, I beg that you'll first cool them down against the wall.

MERCURY  A voice has come flying to my ears.

SOSIA  (aside) . Unlucky fellow, for sure, was I, who didn't clip its wings. I've got a voice with wings, it seems.

MERCURY  This fellow is demanding of me for himself a heavy punishment for his beast's back .

SOSIA  (aside) . As for me, I've got no beast's back.

MERCURY  He must be well loaded with my fists.

SOSIA  (aside) . I' faith, I'm fatigued, coming from board ship, when I was brought hither; even now I'm sea-sick. Without a burden, I can hardly creep along, so don't think that with a load I can go.

MERCURY  Why, surely, somebody is speaking here.

SOSIA  (aside) . I'm all right, he doesn't see me; he thinks it's "Somebody" speaking: Sosia is certainly my name.

MERCURY  But here, from the right-hand side, the voice, as it seems, strikes upon my ear.

SOSIA  (aside) . I'm afraid that I shall be getting a thrashing here this day, in place of my voice, that's striking him. (Moves.)

MERCURY  Here he is--he's coming towards me, most opportunely.

SOSIA  (aside) . I'm terrified--I'm numbed all over. Upon my faith, I don't know where in the world I now am, if any one should ask me; and to my misfortune, I cannot move myself for fright. It's all up with me; the orders of his master and Sosia are lost together. But I'm determined boldly to address this fellow to his face, so that I may be able to appear valiant to him; that he may keep his hands off me (Advances towards the door.)

MERCURY  (accosting him) . Where are you going, you that are carrying Vulcan enclosed in your horn?

SOSIA  Why do you make that enquiry, you who are boning men's heads with your fists?

MERCURY  Are you slave or free man?

SOSIA  Just as it suits my inclination.

MERCURY  Do you really say so?

SOSIA  I really do say so.

MERCURY  Whip-scoundrel !

SOSIA  Now you are telling a lie.

MERCURY  But I'll soon make you own that I'm telling the truth.

SOSIA  What necessity is there for it?

MERCURY  Can I know whence you have set out, whose you are, or why you are come?

SOSIA  (pointing) . This way I'm going, and I'm the servant of my master. Are you any the wiser now?

MERCURY  I'll this day make you be holding that foul tongue of yours.

SOSIA  You can't; it is kept pure and becomingly.

MERCURY  Do you persist in chattering? What business now have you at this house? (Points to the house.)

SOSIA  Aye, and what business have you?

MERCURY  King Creon always sets a watch every night.

SOSIA  He does right; because we were abroad, he has been protecting our house. But however, do go in now, and say that some of the family servants have arrived.

MERCURY  How far you are one of the family servants I don't know. But unless you are off from here this instant, family servant as you are, I'll make you to be received in no familiar style.

SOSIA  Here, I say, I live, and of these people I am the servant.

MERCURY  But do you understand how it is? Unless you are off, I'll make you to be exalted this day.

SOSIA  In what way, pray?

MERCURY  You shall be carried off, you shan't walk away, if I take up a stick.

SOSIA  But I declare that I am one of the domestics of this family.

MERCURY  Consider, will you, how soon you want a drubbing, unless you are off from here this instant.

SOSIA  Do you want, as I arrive from foreign parts, to drive me from my home?

MERCURY  Is this your home?

SOSIA  It is so, I say.

MERCURY  Who is your master, then?

SOSIA  Amphitryon, who is now the general of the Theban forces, to whom Alcmena is married.

MERCURY  How say you? What's your name?

SOSIA  The Thebans call me Sosia, the son of my father Davus.

MERCURY  Assuredly, at your peril have you come here this day, with your trumped-up lies, your patched-up knaveries, you essence of effrontery.

SOSIA  Why no, it's rather with garments patched-up that I'm arrived here, not with knaveries.

MERCURY  Why, you are lying again; you come with your feet, surely, and not with your garments.

SOSIA  Yes, certainly.

MERCURY  Then certainly take that for your lie. (He strikes him.)

SOSIA  By my troth, I certainly don't wish for it of course.

MERCURY  But by my faith, you certainly shall have it of course, whether you wish or not: for, in fact, this is certainly my determination, and it is not at your own option. (He strikes him.)

SOSIA  Mercy, I entreat of you.

MERCURY  Do you dare to say that you are Sosia, when I myself am he? (Strikes him.)

SOSIA  (crying at the top of his voice) . I'm being murdered.

MERCURY  Why, you are crying out for a trifle as yet, compared with what it will be. Whose are you now?

SOSIA  Your own; for with your fists you have laid hands on me . Help, help, citizens of Thebes. (MERCURY striking him.)

MERCURY  What, still bawling, you scoundrel? Speak--what have you come for?

SOSIA  For there to be somebody for you to belabour with your fists.

MERCURY  Whose are you?

SOSIA  Amphitryon's Sosia, I tell you.

MERCURY  For this reason then you shall be beaten the more, because you prate thus idly; I am Sosia, not you.

SOSIA  (aside) . I wish the Gods would have it so, that you were he in preference, and that I were thrashing you.

MERCURY  What, muttering still? (Strikes him) .

SOSIA  I'll hold my tongue then.

MERCURY  Who is your master?

SOSIA  Whoever you like.

MERCURY  How then? What's your name now?

SOSIA  Nothing but what you shall command.

MERCURY  You said that you were Amphitryon's Sosia.

SOSIA  I made a mistake; but this I meant to say, that I was Amphitryon's associate .

MERCURY  Why, I was sure that we had no servant called Sosia except myself. Your senses are forsaking you.

SOSIA  I wish that those fists of yours had done so.

MERCURY  I am that Sosia, whom you were just now telling me that you are.

SOSIA  I pray that I may be allowed to discourse with you in quietness, so as not to be beaten.

MERCURY  Well then, let there be a truce for a short time, if you want to say anything.

SOSIA  I'll not speak unless peace is concluded, since you are the stronger with your fists.

MERCURY  If you wish to say anything, speak; I'll not hurt you.

SOSIA  Am I to trust in your word?

MERCURY  Yes, in my word.

SOSIA  What, if you deceive me?

MERCURY  Why, then may Mercury be angry with Sosia .

SOSIA  Then give attention: now I'm at liberty to say in freedom anything I please. I am Sosia, servant of Amphitryon.

MERCURY  What, again? (Offering to strike him.)

SOSIA  I have concluded the peace, ratified the treaty--I speak the truth.

MERCURY  Take that, then. (Hie strikes him.)

SOSIA  As you please, and what you please, pray do, since you are the stronger with your fists. But whatever you shall do, still, upon my faith, I really shall not be silent about that.

MERCURY  So long as you live, you shall never make me to be any other than Sosia at this moment.

SOSIA  I' faith, you certainly shall never make me to be any other person than my own self; and besides myself we have no other servant of the name of Sosia--myself, who went hence on the expedition together with Amphitryon.

MERCURY  This fellow is not in his senses.

SOSIA  The malady that you impute to me, you have that same yourself. How, the plague, am I not Sosia, the servant of Amphitryon? Has not our ship, which brought me, arrived here this night from the Persian port  ? Has not my master sent me here? Am I not now standing before our house? Have I not a lantern in my hand? Am I not talking? Am I not wide awake? Has not this fellow been thumping me with his fists? By my troth , he has been doing so; for even now, to my pain, my cheeks are tingling. Why, then, do I hesitate? Or why don't I go in-doors into our house? (He makes towards the door.)

MERCURY  (stepping between) . How--your house?

SOSIA  Indeed it really is so.

MERCURY  Why, all that you have been saying just now, you have trumped up; I surely am Amphitryon's Sosia. For in the night this ship of ours weighed anchor from the Persian port, and where king Pterelas reigned, the city we took by storm, and the legions of the Teleboans in fighting we took by arms, and Amphitryon himself cut off the head of king Pterelas in battle.

SOSIA  (aside) . I do not trust my own self, when I hear him affirm these things; certainly, he really does relate exactly the things that were done there. (Aloud.) But how say you? What spoil from the Teleboans was made a present to Amphitryon?

MERCURY  A golden goblet, from which king Pterelas used to drink.

SOSIA  (aside) . He has said the truth. Where now is this goblet?

MERCURY  'Tis in a casket, sealed with the seal of Amphitryon.

SOSIA  Tell me, what is the seal?

MERCURY  The Sun rising with his chariot. Why are you on the catch for me, you villain?

SOSIA  (aside) . He has overpowered me with his proofs. I must look out for another name. I don't know from whence he witnessed these things. I'll now entrap him finely; for what I did alone by myself, and when not another person was present in the tent, that, he certainly will never be able this day to tell me. (Aloud.) If you are Sosia, when the armies were fighting most vigorously, what were you doing in the tent? If you tell me that, I'm vanquished.

MERCURY  There was a cask of wine; from it I filled an earthen pot³⁰ .

SOSIA  (aside) . He has got upon the track.

MERC.  That I drew full of pure wine, just as it was born from the mother grape.

SOSIA  (aside) . It's a wonder if this fellow wasn't lying hid inside of that earthen pot. It is the fact, that there I did drink an earthen pot full of wine.

MERCURY  Well--do I now convince you by my proofs that you are not Sosia?

SOSIA  Do you deny that I am?

MERCURY  Why should I not deny it, who am he myself?

SOSIA  By Jupiter I swear that I am he, and that I do not say false.

MERCURY  But by Mercury, I swear that Jupiter does not believe you; for I am sure that he will rather credit me without an oath than you with an oath.

SOSIA  Who am I, at all events, if I am not Sosia? I ask you that.

MERCURY  When I choose not to be Sosia, then do you be Sosia; now, since I am he, you'll get a thrashing, if you are not off hence, you fellow without a name.

SOSIA  (aside) . Upon my faith, for sure, when I examine him and recollect my own figure, just in such manner as I am (I've often looked in a glass ): , he is exactly like me. He has the broad-brimmed hat and clothing just the same; he is as like me as I am myself. His leg, foot, stature, shorn head, eyes, nose, even his lips, cheeks, chin, beard, neck--the whole of him. What need is there of words? If his back is marked with scars, than this likeness there is nothing more like. But when I reflect, really, I surely am the same person that I always was. My master I know, I know our I house; I am quite in my wits and senses. I'm not going to I obey this fellow in what he says; I'll knock at the door. (Goes towards the door.)

MERCURY  Whither are you betaking yourself?

SOSIA  Home.

MERCURY  If now you were to ascend the chariot of Jove and fly away from here, then you could hardly be able to escape destruction.

SOSIA  Mayn't I be allowed to deliver the message to my mistress that my master ordered me to give?

MERCURY  If you want to deliver any message to your own mistress; this mistress of mine I shall not allow you to approach. But if you provoke me, you'll be just now taking hence your loins broken.

SOSIA  In preference, I'll be off. (Aside.) Immortal Gods, I do beseech your mercy. Where did I lose myself? Where have I been transformed? Where have I parted with my figure? Or have I left myself behind there, if perchance I have forgotten it? For really this person has possession of all my figure, such as it formerly was. While living, that is done for me, which no one will ever do for me when dead . I'll go to the harbour, and I'll tell my master these things as they have happened--unless even he as well shall not know me, which may Jupiter grant, so that this day, bald, with shaven crown, I may assume the cap of freedom . ((Exit.))

MERCURY, alone

MERCURY  Well and prosperously has this affair gone on for me; from the door have I removed the greatest obstacle, so that it may be allowed my father to embrace her in security. When now he shall have reached his master, Amphitryon there, he will say that the servant Sosia has repulsed himself from the door here; and then the other will suppose that he is telling him a lie, and will not believe that he has come here as he had ordered him. Both of them and the whole household of Amphitryon I will fill with mistakes and distraction, even until my father shall have had full enjoyment of her whom he loves; then at last all shall know what has been done. In the end Jupiter shall restore Alcmena to the former affection of her husband. For Amphitryon will just now be beginning a quarrel with his wife, and will be accusing her of incontinence; then will my father change for her this strife into tranquillity. Now, inasmuch as yet I've said but little about Alcmena, this day will she bring forth two sons, twins; the one will be born in the tenth month after he was begotten, the other in the seventh month ; of these the one is the son of Amphitryon² , the other of Jupiter. But of the younger son the father is the superior, of the elder the inferior. (To the AUDIENCE.) Now do you comprehend this how it is? But for the sake of the honor of this Alcmena, my father will take care that it shall happen at one birth, so that in one travail she may complete her double pangs, and not be laid under suspicion of unchastity, and that the clandestine connexion may remain concealed. Although, as I have said just now, Amphitryon shall still know all the matter in the end. What then? No one surely will impute it to Alcmena as a disgrace; for it does not seem that a God is acting justly to permit his own offences and his own faultiness to fall upon a mortal. I'll cut short my talk: the door makes a noise. See, the counterfeit Amphitryon is coming out of doors, and together with him Alcmena, the wife that he has taken the loan of.

Enter JUPITER and ALCMENA, from the house.

JUPITER  Kindly fare you well, Alcmena; take care, as you are doing, of our common interest, and pray be sparing of yourself; you see that now your months are completed. It's necessary for me to go away from here; but the offspring that shall be born do you bring up .

ALCMENA  What business is this, my husband, since you thus suddenly leave your home?

JUPITER  By my troth, 'tis not that I am wearied of you or of my home; but when the chief commander is not with the army, that is sooner done which ought not to be done than that which needs to be done.

MERCURY  (aside) . This is a very clever counterfeit, who really is my own father. (To the AUDIENCE.) Do you observe him, how blandly he smoothes the lady over.

ALCMENA  I' faith, I find by experience how much you value your wife.

JUPITER  If there is no one among women whom I love so much, are you satisfied?

MERCURY  (aside) . Verily, upon my faith, if Juno only knew that you were giving your attention to such matters, I'd warrant that you'd rather be Amphitryon than Jupiter.

ALCMENA  I would rather that I should find it so by experience, than that it should be told me. You leave me before the spot in the bed where.you have been lying has well grown warm. Yesterday, in the middle of the night, you came, and now you are going away. Is this your pleasure?

MERCURY  (aside) . I'll approach, and address her, and play second fiddle to my father. (He approaches ALCMENA.) Never, upon my faith, do I believe that any mortal did so. distractedly love his wife as he distractedly dotes upon you.

JUPITER  Scoundrel!--don't I know you of old? Won't you be off out of my sight? What business have you in this matter, whip-knave? or why your muttering? Whom this very instant, with this walking-stick, I'll---- (Shakes his stick over his head.)

ALCMENA  Oh don't.

JUPITER  Only make a whisper.

MERCURY  (aside) . My first attempt at playing second fiddle had almost come to an unfortunate conclusion.

JUPITER  But as to what you say, my wife, you ought not to be angry with me. I came away privately from the army: these moments I stole for you, that you the first might know from me the first, how I had managed the common interests. All this have I related to you. If I had not loved you very much, I should not have done so.

MERCURY  (aside) . Isn't he doing just as I said? In her alarm, he is smoothing her down.

JUPITER  That the army then mayn't find it out, I must return there privately, lest they should say that I have preferred my wife before the common interests.

ALCMENA  By your departure you set your wife in tears.

JUPITER  Be quiet; don't spoil your eyes: I'll return very shortly.

ALCMENA  That "very shortly" is a long time.

JUPITER  I do not with pleasure leave you here, or go away from you.

ALCMENA  I am sensible of it; for, the night that you have come to me, on the same you go away. ((She embraces him.))

JUPITER  Why do you hold me? It is time to go: I wish to depart from the city before it dawns. Now, Alcmena, this goblet which has been given me there on account of my valour, from which king Pterelas used to drink, he whom I slew with my own hand, the same I present to you. (Presents to her the goblet.)

ALCMENA  (taking the goblet) . You do as you are wont in other things. By heavens, it is a noble gift; like him who gave the gift.

MERCURY  Aye, a noble gift; just like her to whom it has been given as a gift.

JUPITER  What, still going on? Can't I, you scoundrel, make an end of you?

ALCMENA  Amphitryon, there's a dear, don't be angry  with Sosia on my account.

JUPITER  Just as you wish I'll do.

MERCURY  (aside) . From his intriguing, how very savage he does become!

JUPITER  Do you wish for anything else?

ALCMENA  That when I am absent you will love me--me, who am yours, though absent.

MERCURY  Let's go, Amphitryon; it's already dawning.

JUPITER  Go you first, Sosia. (Exit MERCURY.) I'll follow this instant. (To ALCMENA.) Is there anything you wish?

ALCMENA  Yes; that you'll come back speedily.

JUPITER  I will; and sooner than you expect will I be here therefore be of good heart. (ALCMENA goes into the house.) Now Night, thou who hast tarried for me, I permit these to give place to Day, that thou mayst shine upon mortals with a bright and brilliant light. And Night, as much as on this last thou wast too long, so much the shorter will I make the Day to be, that a Day of equal disparity may succeed the Night. I'll go and follow Mercury. ((Exit.))

Enter AMPHITRYON and SOSIA, at the end of the stage.

AMPH.  Come, do you follow after me.

SOSIA  I'm following; I'm following close after you.

AMPH.  I think that you are the veriest rogue----

SOSIA  But for what reason?

AMPH.  Because that which neither is, nor ever was, nor will be, you declare to me.

SOSIA  Look at that; you are now acting according to your usual fashion, to be putting no trust in your servants.

AMPH.  Why is it so? For what reason? Surely now, by the powers, I'll cut out that villanous tongue of yours, you villain.

SOSIA  I am yours; do each thing just as it is agreable and as it pleases you. Still you never can, by any method, hinder me from saying these things just as they took place here.

AMPH.  You consummate villain, do you dare tell me this, that you are now at home, who are here present?

SOSIA  I speak the truth.

AMPH.  A mishap shall the Gods send upon you, and I this day will send it as well.

SOSIA  That's in your power, for I am your property.

AMPH.  Do you dare, you whip-scoundrel, to play your tricks with me, your master? Do you dare affirm that which no person ever yet before this has seen, and which cannot possibly happen, for the same man to be in two places together at the same time?

SOSIA  Undoubtedly, such as I say is the fact.

AMPH.  May Jupiter confound you!

SOSIA  What evil, master, have I been deemed deserving of in your service?

AMPH.  Do you ask me, you rogue, who are even making sport of me?

SOSIA  With reason might you curse me, if it had not so happened. But I tell no lie, and I speak as the thing really did happen.

AMPH.  This fellow's drunk, as I imagine.

SOSIA  What, I?

AMPH.  Yes--you there.

SOSIA  I wish I were so.

AMPH.  You are wishing for that which is fact; where have you been drinking?

SOSIA  Nowhere, indeed.

AMPH.  What is this, that is the matter with the fellow?

SOSIA  Really I have told you ten times over. I am both at home now, I say (do you mark me?), and I, Sosia, am with you likewise. Don't I appear, master, to have told you quite distinctly, and quite circumstantially, that this is so.

AMPH.  Avaunt, get away with you from me.

SOSIA  What's the matter?

AMPH.  A pestilence possesses you.

SOSIA  But why do you say so to me? I really am quite well and in perfect health, Amphitryon.

AMPH.  But I'll make you this very day, just as you have deserved, not to be quite so well, and to be miserable instead of your perfect health, if I return home. Follow me, you who in this fashion are making sport of your master with your crack-brained talk; you, who, since you have neglected to perform what your master ordered, are now come even of your own accord to laugh at your master. Things which neither can happen, and which no one ever yet heard of in talk, you are telling of, you villain; on your back I'll take care and make those lies to tell this very day.

SOSIA  Amphitryon, this is the most wretched of wretchedness to a good servant, who is telling the truth to his master, if that same truth is overpowered by violence.

AMPH.  Discuss it with me by proofs. Why, how the plague can such a thing happen, for you now to be both here and at home? That I want to be told.

SOSIA  I really am both here and there; this any person has a right to wonder at; nor, Amphitryon, does this seem more. strange to you than to myself.

AMPH.  In what way?

SOSIA  In no degree, I say, is this more strange to you than to myself; nor, so may the Deities love me, did I at first credit Sosia--me myself, until that Sosia, I myself, made me to believe me myself. In order did he relate everything, as each thing came to pass, when we sojourned with the enemy; and then besides, he has carried off my figure together with my name. Not even is milk more like to milk than is that I myself like to me myself. For when some time since, before daybreak, you sent me from the harbour home before you----

AMPH.  What then?

SOSIA  I had been standing a long time at the door before I had got there.

AMPH.  Plague on it, what nonsense! Are you quite in your senses?

SOSIA  I'm just as you see me.

AMPH.  Some mischief, I know not what, has befallen this fellow from an evil hand since he left me.

SOSIA  I confess it; for I have been most shockingly bruised with his fists.

AMPH.  Who has been beating you?

SOSIA  I myself, who am now at home, beat me myself.

AMPH.  Take you care to say nothing but what I shall ask you. Now, do you answer me. First of all, who this Sosia is, of that I want to be informed.

SOSIA  He is your servant.

AMPH.  Really I have even more than I desire by your own one self. Never, too, since I was born, had I a servant Sosia besides yourself.

SOSIA  But now, Amphitryon, I say this; I'll make you, I say, on your arrival, meet with another Sosia at home, a servant of yours, besides myself, a son of Davus, the same father with myself, of figure and age as well just like myself. What need is there of words? This Sosia of yours is become twofold.

AMPH.  You talk of things extremely wonderful. But did you see my wife?

SOSIA  Nay, but it was never allowed me to go in-doors into the house.

AMPH.  Who hindered you?

SOSIA  This Sosia, whom I was just now telling of, he who thumped me.

AMPH.  Who is this Sosia?

SOSIA  Myself, I say; how often must it be told you?

AMPH.  But how say you? Have you been sleeping the while?

SOSIA  Not the slightest in the world.

AMPH.  Then, perhaps, you might perchance have seen some Sosia in your dreams.

SOSIA  I am not in the habit of performing the orders of my master in a sleepy fashion. Awake I saw him, awake I now see you, awake I am talking, awake did he, a little while since, thump me about with his fists.

AMPH.  What person did so?

SOSIA  Sosia, that I myself,--he, I say. Prithee, don't you understand?

AMPH.  How, the plague, can any one possibly understand? You are jabbering such nonsense.

SOSIA  But you'll know him shortly.

AMPH.  Whom?

SOSIA  You'll know this servant Sosia.

AMPH.  Follow me this way, then; for it is necessary for me first to enquire into this. But take care that all the things that I ordered are now brought from the ship.

SOSIA  I am both mindful and diligent that what you order shall be performed; together with the wine, I have not drunk up your commands.

AMPH.  May the Gods grant, that, in the event, what you have said may prove untrue. (They stand apart.)

Enter ALCMENA, from the house, attended by THESSALA.

ALCMENA  Is not the proportion of pleasures in life and in passing our existence short in comparison with what is disagreable? So it is allotted to each man in life; so has it pleased the Gods that Sorrow should attend on Pleasure as her companion; but if aught of good befalls us, more of trouble and of ill forthwith attends us. For this do I now feel by experience at home and in relation to myself, to whom delight has been imparted for a very short time, while I had the opportunity of seeing my husband for but one night; and now has he suddenly gone away hence from me before the dawn. Deserted do I now seem to myself, because he is absent from here, he whom before all I love. More of grief have I felt from the departure of my husband, than of pleasure from his arrival. But this, at least, makes me happy, that he has conquered the foe, and has returned home loaded with glory. Let him be absent, if only with fame acquired he betakes himself home. I shall bear and ever endure his absence with mind resolved and steadfast; if only this reward is granted me, that my husband shall be hailed the conqueror in the warfare, sufficient for myself will I deem it. Valour is the best reward; valour assuredly surpasses all things: liberty, safety, life, property and parents, country too, and children, by it are defended and preserved. Valour comprises everything in itself: all blessings attend him in whose possession is valour.

AMPH.  (apart) . By my troth, I do believe that I shall come much wished for by my wife, who loves me, and whom, in return, I love: especially, our enterprise crowned with success, the enemy vanquished, whom no one had supposed to be able to be conquered: these, under my conduct and command, at the first meeting, have we vanquished; but I know for sure that I shall come to her much wished for.

SOSIA  (aside) . Well, and don't you think that I shall come much wished for to my mistress? (SOSIA.)

ALCMENA  (to herself) . Surely, this is my husband.

AMPH.  (to SOSIA) . Do you follow me this way.

ALCMENA  (to herself) . But why has he returned, when just now he said that he was in haste? Is he purposely trying me, and is he desirous to make proof of this, how much I regret his departure? By my faith, against no inclination of mine has he betaken himself home.

SOSIA  Amphitryon, it were better for us to return to the ship.

AMPH.  For what reason?

SOSIA  Because there's no person at home to give us a breakfast on our arrival.

AMPH.  How comes that now into your mind?

SOSIA  Why, because we have come too late.

AMPH.  How so?

SOSIA  Because I see Alcmena standing before the house, with her stomach-full¹ already.

AMPH.  I left her pregnant here when I went away.

SOSIA  Alas, to my sorrow, I'm undone!

AMPH.  What's the matter with you?

SOSIA  I have come home just in good time to fetch the water² in the tenth month after that, according as I understand you to compute the reckoning.

AMPH.  Be of good heart.

SOSIA  Do you know of how good heart I am? By my troth, do you never after this day entrust to me aught that is sacred, if I don't draw up all the life of that well, if I do but make a beginning.

AMPH.  Do you only follow me this way. I'll appoint another person for that business; don't you fear.

ALCMENA  (advancing) . I think that I shall now be doing my duty more, if I go to meet him. ((They meet.))

AMPH.  With joy, Amphitryon greets his longed for wife--her, whom of all women in Thebes her husband deems by far the most excellent, and whom so much the Theban citizens truthfully extol as virtuous. Have you fared well all along? Do I arrive much wished for by you?

SOSIA  (aside) . I never saw one more so; for she greets her own husband not a bit more than a dog.

AMPH.  When I see you pregnant, and so gracefully burdened, I am delighted.

ALCMENA  Prithee, in the name of all that's good, why, for the sake of mockery, do you thus salute and address me, as though you hadn't lately seen me--as though now, for the first time, you were betaking yourself homeward here from the enemy? For now you are addressing me just as though you were seeing me after a long time.

AMPH.  Why, really for my part, I have not seen you at all this day until now.

ALCMENA  Why do you deny it?

AMPH.  Because I have learned to speak the truth.

ALCMENA  He does not do right, who unlearns the same that he has learned. Are you making trial what feelings I possess? But why are you returning hither so soon? Has an ill omen delayed you, or does the weather keep you back, you who have not gone away to your troops, as you were lately speaking of?

AMPH.  Lately? How long since was this "lately?"

ALCMENA  You are trying me; but very lately, just now.

AMPH.  Prithee, how can that possibly be as you say?--"but very lately, just now."

ALCMENA  Why, what do you imagine? That I, on the other hand, shall trifle with you who are playing with me, in saying that you are now come for the first time, you who but just now went away from here?

AMPH.  Surely she is talking deliriously.

SOSIA  Stop a little while, until she has slept out this one sleep.

AMPH.  Is she not dreaming with her eyes open?

ALCMENA  Upon my faith, for my part I really am awake, and awake I am relating that which has happened; for, but lately, before daybreak, I saw both him (pointing at SOSIA) and yourself.

AMPH.  In what place?

ALCMENA  Here, in the house where you yourself dwell.

AMPH.  It never was the fact.

SOSIA  Will you not hold your peace? What if the vessel brought us here from the harbour in our sleep?

AMPH.  Are you, too, going to back her as well?

SOSIA  (aside to AMPHITRYON) . What do you wish to be done? Don't you know, if you wish to oppose a raving Bacchanal, from a mad woman you'll render her more mad--she'll strike the oftener ; if you humour her, after one blow you may overcome her?

AMPH.  But, by my troth, this thing is resolved upon, somehow to rate her who this day has been unwilling to greet me on my arrival home.

SOSIA  You'll only be irritating hornets.

AMPH.  You hold your tongue. Alcmena, I wish to ask you one thing.

ALCMENA  Ask me anything you please.

AMPH.  Is it frenzy that has come upon you, or does pride overcome you?

ALCMENA  How comes it into your mind, my husband, to ask me that?

AMPH.  Because formerly you used to greet me on my arrival, and to address me in such manner as those women who are virtuous are wont their husbands. On my arrival home I've found that you have got rid of that custom.

ALCMENA  By my faith, indeed, I assuredly did both greet you yesterday, upon your arrival, at that very instant, and at the same time I enquired if you had continued in health all along, my husband, and I took your hand and gave you a kiss.

SOSIA  What, did you welcome him yesterday?

ALCMENA  And you too, as well, Sosia.

SOSIA  Amphitryon, I did hope that she was about to bring you forth a son; but she isn't gone with child.

AMPH.  What then?

SOSIA  With madness.

ALCMENA  Really I am in my senses, and I pray the Gods that in safety I may bring forth a son; but (to SOSIA) hap-ill shall you be having, if he does his duty: for those ominous words, omen-maker, you shall catch what befits you.

SOSIA  Why really an apple⁴ ought to be given to the lady thus pregnant, that there may be something for her to gnaw if she should begin to faint.

AMPH.  Did you see me here yesterday?

ALCMENA  I did, I say, if you wish it to be ten times repeated.

AMPH.  In your sleep, perhaps?

ALCMENA  No--I, awake, saw you awake.

AMPH.  Woe to me!

SOSIA  What's the matter with you?

AMPH.  My wife is mad.

SOSIA  She's attacked with black bile; nothing so soon turns people mad.

AMPH.  When, madam, did you first find yourself affected?

ALCMENA  Why really, upon my faith, I'm well, and in my senses.

AMPH.  Why, then, do you say that you saw me yesterday, whereas we were brought into harbour but last night? There did I dine, and there did I rest the livelong night on board ship, nor have I set my foot even here into the house, since, with the army, I set out hence against the Teleboan foe, and since we conquered them.

ALCMENA  On the contrary, you dined with me, and you slept with me.

AMPH.  How so?

ALCMENA  I'm telling the truth.

AMPH.  On my honor, not in this matter, really; about other

MATTERS  I don't know.

ALCMENA  At the very break of dawn you went away to your troops.

AMPH.  By what means could I?

SOSIA  She says right, according as she remembers; she's telling you her dream. But, madam, after you arose, you ought to have sacrificed to Jove, the disposer of prodigies⁵ , either with a salt cake or with frankincense.

ALCMENA  A mischief on your head!

SOSIA  That's your own business, if you take due care.

ALCMENA  Now again this fellow is talking rudely to me, and that without punishment.

AMPH.  (to SOSIA) . You hold your tongue. (To ALCMENA.) Do you tell me now--did I go away hence from you at daybreak?

ALCMENA  Who then but your own self recounted to me how the battle went there?

AMPH.  And do you know that as well?

ALCMENA  Why, I heard it from your own self, how you had taken a very large city, and how you yourself had slain king Pterelas.

AMPH.  What, did I tell you this?

ALCMENA  You yourself, this Sosia standing by as well.

AMPH.  (to SOSIA) . Have you heard me telling about this to-day?

SOSIA  Where should I have heard you?

AMPH.  Ask her.

SOSIA  In my presence, indeed, it never took place, that I know of.

ALCMENA  It would be a wonder

⁶ if he didn't contradict you.

AMPH.  Sosia, come here and look at me.

SOSIA  (looks at him) . I am looking at you.

AMPH.  I wish you to tell the truth, and I don't want you to humour me. Have you heard me this day sav to her these things which she affirms?

SOSIA  Prithee now, by my troth, are you, too, mad as well, when you ask me this, me, who, for my part, my own self now behold her in company with you for the first time?

AMPH.  How now, madam? Do you hear him?

ALCMENA  I do, indeed, and telling an untruth.

AMPH.  Do you believe neither him nor my own self, your husband?

ALCMENA  No; for this reason it is, because I most readily believe myself, and I am sure that these things took place just as I relate them.

AMPH.  Do you say that I came yesterday?

ALCMENA  Do you deny that you went away from here to-day?

AMPH.  I really do deny it, and I declare that I have now come home to you for the first time.

ALCMENA  Prithee, will you deny this too, that you to-day made me a present of a golden goblet, with which you said that you had been presented?

AMPH.  By heavens, I neither gave it nor told you so: but I had so intended, and do so now, to present you with that goblet. But who told you this?

ALCMENA  Why, I heard it from yourself, and I received the goblet from your own hand. (She moves as if going.)

AMPH.  Stay, stay, I entreat you. Sosia, I marvel much how she knows that I was presented there with this golden goblet, unless you have lately met her and told her all this.

SOSIA  Upon my faith, I have never told her, nor have I ever beheld her except with yourself.

AMPH.  What is the matter⁷ with this person?

ALCMENA  Should you like the goblet to be produced?

AMPH.  I should like it; to be produced

ALCMENA  Be it so. Do you go, Thessala, and bring from indoors the goblet, with which my husband presented me today. (THESSALA goes into the house, and AMPHITRYON and SOSIA walk on one side.)

AMPH.  Sosia, do you step this way. Really, I do wonder extremely at this beyond the other wondrous matters, if she has got this goblet.

SOSIA  And do you believe it, when it's carried in this casket, sealed with your own seal. (He shows the casket.)

AMPH.  Is the seal whole?

SOSIA  Examine it.

AMPH.  (examining it) . All right, it's just as I sealed it up.

SOSIA  Prithee, why don't you order her to be purified as a frantic person?

AMPH.  By my troth, somehow there's need for it, for, i' faith, she's certainly filled with sprites. (ALCMENA.)

ALCMENA  What need is there of talking? See, here's the goblet; here it is.

AMPH.  Give it me.

ALCMENA  Come, now then, look here, if you please, you who deny what is fact, and whom I shall now clearly convict in this case. Isn't this the goblet with which you were presented there?

AMPH.  Supreme Jupiter! what do I behold? Surely this is that goblet. Sosia, I'm utterly confounded.

SOSIA  Upon my faith, either this woman is a most consummate juggler, or the goblet must be in here (pointing to the casket) . AMPH. Come, then, open this casket.

SOSIA  Why should I open it? It is securely sealed. The thing is cleverly contrived; you have brought forth another Amphitryon, I have brought forth another Sosia; now if the goblet has brought forth a goblet, we have all produced our doubles.

AMPH.  I'm determined to open and examine it.

SOSIA  Look, please, how the seal is, that you may not hereafter throw the blame on me.

AMPH.  Now do open it. For she certainly is desirous to drive us mad with her talking.

ALCMENA  Whence then came this which was made a present to me, but from yourself?

AMPH.  It's necessary for me to enquire into this.

SOSIA  (opening the casket) . Jupiter, O Jupiter!

AMPH.  What is the matter with you?

SOSIA  There's no goblet here in the casket.

AMPH.  What do I hear.

SOSIA  That which is the truth.

AMPH.  But at your peril now, if it does not make its appearance.

ALCMENA  (showing it) . Why, it does make its appearance.

AMPH.  Who then gave it you?

ALCMENA  The person that's asking me the question.

SOSIA  (to AMPHITRYON) . You are on the catch for me, inasmuch as you yourself have secretly run before me hither from the ship by another road, and have taken the goblet away from here and given it to her, and afterwards you have secretly sealed it up again.

AMPH.  Ah me! and are you too helping her frenzy as well? (To ALCMENA) Do you say that we arrived here yesterday?

ALCMENA  I do say so, and on your arrival you instantly greeted me, and I you, and I gave you a kiss.

SOSIA  (aside) . That beginning now about the kiss doesn't please me.

AMPH.  Go on telling it.

ALCMENA  Then you bathed.

AMPH.  What, after I bathed?

ALCMENA  You took your place at table.

SOSIA  Bravo, capital! Now make further enquiry.

AMPH.  (to SOSIA) . Don't you interrupt. (To ALCMENA) . Go on telling me.

ALCMENA  The dinner was served; you dined with me; I reclined together with you at the repast.

AMPH.  What, on the same couch?

ALCMENA  On the same.

SOSIA  Oh dear, I don't like this banquet.

AMPH.  Now do let her give her proofs. (To ALCMENA.) What, after we had dined?

ALCMENA  You said that you were inclined to go to sleep; the table was removed; thence we went to bed.

AMPH.  Where did you lie?

ALCMENA  In the chamber, in the same bed together with your. self.

AMPH.  You have proved my undoing.

SOSIA  What's the matter with you?

AMPH.  This very moment has she sent me to my grave.

ALCMENA  How so, pray?

AMPH.  Don't address me.

SOSIA  What's the matter with you?

AMPH.  To my sorrow I'm undone, since, in my absence from here, dishonor has befallen her chastity.

ALCMENA  In heaven's name, my lord, why, I beseech you, do I hear this from you?

AMPH.  I, your lord? False one, don't call me by a false name.

SOSIA  (aside) . 'Tis an odd matter  this, if indeed he has been made into my lady from my lord.

ALCMENA  What have I done, by reason of which these expressions are uttered to me?

AMPH.  You yourself proclaim your own doings; do you enquire of me in what you have offended?

ALCMENA  In what have I offended you, if I have been with you to whom I am married?

AMPH.  You, been with me? What is there of greater effrontery than this impudent woman? At least, if you were wanting in modesty of your own, you might have borrowed it.

ALCMENA  That criminality which you lay to my charge befits not my family. If you try to catch me in incontinence, you cannot convict me.

AMPH.  Immortal Gods! do you at least know me, Sosia?

SOSIA  Pretty well.

AMPH.  Did I not dine yesterday on board ship in the Persian Port?

ALCMENA  I have witnesses as well, who can confirm that which I say.

SOSIA  I don't know what to say to this matter, unless, perchance, there is another Amphitryon, who, perhaps, though you yourself are absent, takes care of your business, and who, in your absence, performs your duties here. For about that counterfeit Sosia it is very surprising. Certainly, about this Amphitryon, now, it is another matter still more surprising.

AMPH.  Some magician, I know not who, is bewildering this woman.

ALCMENA  By the realms of the supreme Sovereign I swear, and by Juno, the matron Goddess, whom for me to fear and venerate it is most especially fitting, that no mortal being¹⁰ except yourself alone has ever touched my person in contact with his so as to render me unchaste.

AMPH.  I could wish that that was true.

ALCMENA  I speak the truth, but in vain, since you will not believe me.

AMPH.  You are a woman; you swear at random.

ALCMENA  She who has not done wrong, her it befits to be bold and to speak confidently and positively in her own behalf.

AMPH.  That's very boldly said.

ALCMENA  Just as befits a virtuous woman.

AMPH.  Say you so? By your own words you prove it.

ALCMENA  That which is called a dowry, I do not deem the same my dowry; but chastity, and modesty, and subdued desires, fear of the Gods, and love of my parents, and concord with my kindred; to be obedient to yourself and bounteous to the good, ready to aid the upright.

SOSIA  Surely, by my troth, if she tells the truth in this, she's perfect to the very ideal¹¹ .

AMPH.  Really I am so bewildered, that I don't know myself who I am.

SOSIA  Surely you are Amphitryon; take you care, please, that you don't peradventure lose yourself; people are changing in such a fashion since we came from abroad.

AMPH.  Madam, I'm resolved not to omit having this matter enquired into.

ALCMENA  I' faith, you'll do so quite to my satisfaction.

AMPH.  How say you? Answer me; what if I bring your own kinsman, Naucrates, hither from the ship, who, together with me, has been brought on board the same ship; and if he denies that that has happened which you say has happened, what is proper to be done to you? Do you allege any reason. why I should not at your cost dissolve this our marriage?

ALCMENA  If I have done wrong, there is no reason.

AMPH.  Agreed. Do you, Sosia, take these people in-doors. I'll bring Naucrates hither with me from the ship. ((Exit.))

SOSIA  (going close to ALCMENA) . Now then, there's no one here except ourselves; tell me the truth seriously, is there any Sosia in-doors who is like myself?

ALCMENA  Won't you hence away from me, fit servant for your master?

SOSIA  If you command me, I'm off , (Goes into the house.)

ALCMENA  (to herself) . By heavens, it is a very wondrous proceeding, how it has pleased this husband of mine thus to accuse me falsely of a crime so foul. Whatever it is, I shall now learn it from my kinsman Naucrates. (Goes into the house.)

Enter JUPITER.

JUPITER  I am that Amphitryon, whose servant Sosia is the same that becomes Mercury when there is occasion--I, who dwell in the highest story, who sometimes, when it pleases me, become Jupiter. But, hither soon as ever I turn my steps, I become Amphitryon that moment, and I change my garb. Now hither am I come for the sake of a compliment to you, that I may not leave this Comedy incomplete. I've come as well to bring assistance to Alcmena, whom, guiltless woman, her husband Amphitryon is accusing of dishonor, For what I myself have brought about, if that undeservedly should fall as an injury upon her in her innocence, it would be my blame. Now, as I have already begun, I'll again pretend that I am Amphitryon, and this day will I introduce extreme confusion into this household. Then afterwards, at last, I'll cause the matter to be disclosed, and to Alcmena timely aid will I bring, and will cause that at one birth she shall bring forth, without pangs, both the child with which she is pregnant by her husband and that with which she is pregnant by myself. I have ordered Mercury forthwith to follow me, if I should wish to give him any commands. Now will I accost her. (He stands apart.)

Enter ALCMENA, from the house.
 

ALCMENA  I cannot remain in the house. That I should be thus accused by my husband of dishonor, incontinence, and disgrace! he cries aloud that things which have been done, have really not been done; and of things which have not been done, and of which I have not been guilty, he accuses me, and supposes that I shall treat it with indifference. By heavens, I will not do so, nor will I allow myself to be falsely charged with dishonor; but rather I'll either leave him, or make him give satisfaction and swear as well¹ that he wishes unsaid the things which he has alleged against me in my innocence.

JUPITER  (apart) . This must be done by me, which she requires to be done, if I wish for her to receive me into her company as loving her: since that which I have done, that same conduct has proved to the detriment of Amphitryon, and since my love has already created trouble for him who is really guiltless, why now his wrath and his resentment towards her shall fall on me that am not accused.

ALCMENA  And lo! I see him, who just now was accusing wretched me of incontinence and dishonor.

JUPITER  (advancing) . Wife, I would discourse with you. (She turns from him.) Why turn yourself away?

ALCMENA  Such is my disposition; I always hate to look upon my enemies.

JUPITER  Heyday! enemies indeed² !

ALCMENA  It is so, I speak the truth; unless you are going to allege that this is falsely said as well.

JUPITER  (offering to embrace her) . You are too angry.

ALCMENA  (repulsing him) . Can't you keep your hands off? For surely if you were wise, or quite in your senses, with her, whom you deem and pronounce to be unchaste, you would neither hold discourse, in mirth or in seriousness, unless, indeed, you are more foolish than the most foolish.

JUPITER  If I did say so, not a bit the more are you so, nor do I think you so, and therefore have I returned hither that I might excuse myself to you. For never has anything proved more grievous to my feelings than when I heard that you were angry with me. "Why did you charge me?" you will say. I'll tell you; by my troth, not that I deemed you to be unchaste; but I was trying your feelings, what you would do, and in what manner you would bring yourself to bear it. Really, I said these things to you just now in jest, for the sake of the joke. Do but ask Sosia this.

ALCMENA  But why don't you bring here my kinsman, Naucrates, whom you said just now that you would bring as a witness that you had not come here?

JUPITER  If anything was said in joke, it isn't right for you to take it in earnest.

ALCMENA  I know how much this has pained me at heart.

JUPITER  Prithee, Alcmena (taking her hand) , by your right hand I do entreat you, grant me pardon; forgive me, don't be angry.

ALCMENA  By my virtue have I rendered these accusations vain. Since then I eschew conduct that's unchaste, I would wish to avoid imputations of unchastity. Fare you well, keep your own  property to yourself, return me mine. Do you order any maids to be my attendants?

JUPITER  Are you in your senses?

ALCMENA  If you don't order them, let me go alone; chastity shall I take as my attendant. (Going.)

JUPITER  Stay--at your desire, I'll give my oath that I believe my wife to be chaste. If in that I deceive you, then, thee, supreme Jupiter, do I entreat that thou wilt ever be angered against Amphitryon.

ALCMENA  Oh! rather may he prove propitious.

JUPITER  I trust that it will be so; for before you have I taken a truthful oath. Now then, you are not angry?

ALCMENA  I am not.

JUPITER  You act properly. For in the life of mortals many things of this nature come to pass; and now they take their pleasures, again they meet with hardships. Quarrels intervene, again do they become reconciled. But it perchance any quarrels of this nature happen between them, when again they have become reconciled, twofold more loving are they between themselves than they were before.

ALCMENA  At the first you ought to have been careful not to say so; but if you excuse yourself to me for the same, it must be put up with.

JUPITER  But bid the sacred vessels to be got ready for me, that I may fulfil all those vows which I made when with the army, in case I should return safe home.

ALCMENA  I'll take care of that.

JUPITER  (To a SERVANT) . Call out Sosia hither. Let him fetch Blepharo, the pilot that was on board my ship, to breakfast with us. (Aside.) He shall be fooled this day so as to go without his breakfast, while I shall drag Amphitryon hence by the throat.

ALCMENA  (aside) . It's surprising what he can be arranging alone in secrecy with himself. But the door opens; Sosia's coming out.

Enter SOSIA, from the house

SOSIA  Amphitryon, I'm here; if any way you have need of me, command me; your commands I will obey.

JUPITER  Very opportunely are you come.

SOSIA  Has peace been made then between you two? But since I see you in good humour, I'm delighted, and it is a pleasure to myself. And so does it seem becoming for a trusty servant to conduct himself; just as his superiors are, so should he be likewise; by their countenances he should fashion his own countenance; if his superiors are grave, let him be grave; if they rejoice, let him be merry. But come, answer me; have you two now come to a reconciliation?

JUPITER  You are laughing at me, who know full well that these things were just now said by me in joke.

SOSIA  In joke did you say it? For my part, I supposed that it was said seriously and in truthfulness.

JUPITER  Still, I've made my excuses; and peace has been made.

SOSIA  'Tis very good.

JUPITER  I shall now perform the sacrifice in-doors, and the vows which I have made.

SOSIA  So I suppose.

JUPITER  Do you invite hither, in my name, Blepharo, the pilot, from the ship, so that when the sacrifice has been performed, he may breakfast with me.

SOSIA  I shall be here again, while you'll be thinking that I'm there.

JUPITER  Return here directly. (Exit SOSIA.)

ALCMENA  Do you wish for anything else, but that I should go in-doors now, that the things that are requisite may be got ready?

JUPITER  Go then, and take care that everything is prepared as soon as possible.

ALCMENA  Why, come in-doors whenever you please; I'll take care that there shall not be any delay.

JUPITER  You say well, and just as befits an attentive wife. (ALCMENA goes into the house.) Now both of these, both servant and mistress, are, the pair of them, deceived, in taking me to be Amphitryon; egregiously do they err. Now, you immortal Sosia, take you care and be at hand for me. You hear what I say, although you are not present here. Take care that you contrive to drive away Amphitryon, on his arrival just now, by some means or other, from the house. I wish him to be cajoled, while with this borrowed wife I now indulge myself. Please, take care that this is attended to just in such way as you know that I desire, and that you assist me while to myself I am offering sacrifice¹ . (Goes into AMPHITRYON'S house.)

Enter MERCURY, running, at the end of the stage.
 

MERCURY  Stand by and make room all of you, get you out of the way. And let not any person now be so presumptuous as to stand before me in the road. For surely, why, by my troth, should I, a God, be any less allowed to threaten the public, if it does not get out of my way, than a slave in Comedies? He is bringing news that the ship is safe, or else the approach of some angry old blade; whereas I am obeying the bidding of Jove, and by his command do I now hie me. For this reason, it is more fitting to get out of the road and to make room for me. My father calls me, I am following him, to his orders so given am I obedient. As it befits a son to be dutiful to his father, just so am I to my father; in his amours I play second fiddle to him, I encourage him, assist him, advise him, rejoice with him. If anything is pleasing to my father, that pleasure is an extremely great one for myself. Is he amorously disposed? He is wise; he does right, inasmuch as he follows his inclination; a thing that all men ought to do, so long as it is done in a proper manner. Now, my father wishes Amphitryon to be cajoled; I'll take care, Spectators, that he shall be rarely cajoled, while you look on. I'll place a chaplet on my head, and pretend that I am drunk. And up there (pointing to the top of the house) will I get; from that spot, at the top of the house, I'll cleverly drive this person off when he comes hither: I'll take care that, sober, he shall be drenched. Afterwards, his own servant Sosia will presently be suffering the punishment for it; he'll be accusing him of doing, this day, the things which I myself have done what's that to me? It's proper for me to be obedient to my father; it's right to be subservient to his pleasure. But see! here is Amphitryon; he's coming. Now shall he be rarely fooled, if, indeed, (to the AUDIENCE) you are willing, by listening, to lend your attention. I'll go in-doors, and assume a garb² that more becomes me; then I'll go up upon the roof, that I may drive him off from hence. (Goes into the house, and fastens the door.)

Enter AMPHITRYON.

AMPH.  (to himself) . Naucrates, whom I wanted to find, was not on board ship; neither at home nor in the city do I meet with any one that has seen him; for through all the streets have I crawled, the wrestling-rings and the perfumers' shops, to the market, too, and in the shambles, the school for exercise, and the Forum, the doctors' shops, the barbers' shops, and among all the sacred buildings. I'm wearied out with seeking him, and yet I nowhere meet with Naucrates. Now I'll go home, and from my wife will I continue to make enquiry into this matter, who the person was, by the side of whom she submitted her body to dishonor. For it were better that I was dead, than that I this day should leave this enquiry incomplete. (Goes up to the door.) But the house is closed. A pretty thing indeed! This is done just like the other things have been done: I'll knock at the door. (Knocks.) Open this door; ho there! is there anybody here? Is any one going to open this door?

MERCURY appears on the top of the house, with a chaplet on his head, pretending to be drunk.

MERCURY  Who's that at the door?

AMPH.  'Tis I.

MERCURY  Who's "'tis I?"

AMPH.  'Tis I that say so.

MERCURY  For sure, Jupiter and all the Deities are angered with you who are banging at the door this way.

AMPH.  In what manner?

MERCURY  In this manner, that without a doubt you must be spending a wretched life.

AMPH.  Sosia.

MERCURY  Well; I'm Sosia, unless you think that I've forgotten myself. What do you want now?

AMPH.  What, you rascal, and do you even ask me that, what it is I want?

MERCURY  I do so ask you; you blockhead, you've almost broken the hinges from off the door. Did you fancy that doors were supplied us at the public charge? Why are you looking up at me, you stupid? What do you want now for yourself, or what fellow are you?

AMPH.  You whip-scoundrel, do you even ask me who I am, you hell of elm-saplings¹ ? I' faith, this day I'll make you burn with smarts of the scourge for these speeches of yours.

MERCURY  You surely must have formerly been a spendthrift in your young days.

AMPH.  How so?

MERCURY  Because in your old age you come begging a hap-ill of me for yourself.

AMPH.  Slave! for your own torture do you give vent to these expressions this day.

MERCURY  Now I'm performing a sacrifice to you.

AMPH.  How?

MERCURY  Why, because I devote you to ill-luck with this libation. (Throws water on him.) * * * * *

AMPH.  What, you, devote me , you villain? If the Gods have not this day taken away my usual form, I'll take care that you shall be laden with bull's hide thongs, you victim of Saturn⁵ . So surely will I devote you to the cross and to torture. Come out of doors, you whip-knave.

MERCURY  You shadowy ghost--you, frighten me with your threats? If you don't betake yourself off from here this instant, if you knock once more, if the door makes a noise with your little finger even, I'll break your head with this tile, so that with your teeth you may sputter out your tongue.

AMPH.  What, rascal, would you be for driving me away from my own house? What, would you hinder me from knocking at my own door? I'll this instant tear it from off all its hinges.

MERCURY  Do you persist?

AMPH.  I do persist.

MERCURY  Take that, then. (Throws a tile at him.)

AMPH.  Scoundrel! at your master? If I lay hands upon you this day, I'll bring you to that pitch of misery, that you shall be miserable for evermore.

MERCURY  Surely, you must have been playing the Bacchanal⁶ , old gentleman.

AMPH.  Why so?

MERCURY  Inasmuch as you take me to be your slave.

AMPH.  What? I--take you?

MERCURY  Plague upon you! I know no master but Amphitryon.

AMPH.  (to himself) . Have I lost my form? It's strange that Sosia shouldn't know me. I'll make trial. (Calling out) . How now! Tell me who I appear to be? Am I not really Amphitryon?

MERCURY  Amphitryon? Are you in your senses? Has it not been told you before, old fellow, that you have been playing the Bacchanal, to be asking another person who you are? Get away, I recommend you, don't be troublesome while Amphitryon, who has just come back from the enemy, is indulging himself with the company of his wife.

AMPH.  What wife?

MERCURY  Alcmena.

AMPH.  What man?

MERCURY  How often do you want it told? Amphitryon, my master;--don't be troublesome.

AMPH.  Who's he sleeping with?

MERCURY  Take care that you don't meet with some mishap in trifling with me this way.

AMPH.  Prithee, do tell me, my dear Sosia.

MERCURY  More civilly said--with Alcmena.

AMPH.  In the same chamber?

MERCURY  Yes, as I fancy, he is sleeping with her side by side.

AMPH.  Alas!--wretch that I am!

MERCURY  (to the AUDIENCE) . It really is a gain which he imagines to be a misfortune. For to lend one's wife to another is just as though you were to let out barren land to be ploughed.

AMPH.  Sosia!

MERCURY  What, the plague, about Sosia?

AMPH.  Don't you know me, you whip-scoundrel?

MERCURY  I know that you are a troublesome fellow, who have no need to go buy⁷ a lawsuit.

AMPH.  Still once more--am I not your master Amphitryon?

MERCURY  You are Bacchus himself⁸ , and not Amphitryon. How often do you want to be told? Any times more? My master Amphitryon, in the same chamber, is holding Alcmena in his embraces. If you persist, I'll produce him here, and not without your great discomfiture.

AMPH.  I wish him to be fetched. (Aside.) I pray that this day, in return for my services, I may not lose house, wife, and household, together with my figure.

MERCURY  Well, I'll fetch him; but, in the meantime, do you mind about the door, please. (Aside.) I suppose that by this he has brought the sacrifice that he was intending, as far as the banquet . (Aloud.) If you are troublesome, you shan't escape without my making a sacrifice of you. (He retires into the house.)

AMPH.  Ye Gods, by my trust in you, what madness is distracting my household? What wondrous things have I seen since I arrived from abroad! Why, it's true, surely, what was once heard tell of, how that men of Attica were transformed in Arcadia¹⁰ , and remained as savage wild beasts, and were not ever afterwards known unto their parents.

Enter BLEPHARO and SOSIA, at a distance.

BLEPHARO  What's this, Sosia? Great marvels are these that you are telling of. Do you say that you found another Sosia at home exactly like yourself?

SOSIA  I do say so--but, hark you, since I have produced a Sosia, Amphitryon an Amphitryon, how do you know whether you, perchance, may not be producing another Blepharo? O that the Gods would grant that you as well, belaboured with fists, and with your teeth knocked out, going without your breakfast, might credit this. ForI, that other Sosia, that is to say, who am yonder, has mauled me in a dreadful manner.

BLEPHARO  Really, it is wonderful; but it's as well to mend our pace; for, as I perceive, Amphitryon is waiting for us, and my empty stomach is grumbling.

AMPH.  (apart) .----And why do I mention foreign legends? More wondrous things they relate to have happened among our Theban race in former days; that mighty searcher for Europa, attacking the monster sprung from Mars, suddenly produced his enemies from the serpent-seed; and in that battle fought, brother pressed on brother with lance and helm; the Epirote land, too, beheld the author of our race, together with the daughter of Venus² , gliding as serpents. From on high supreme Jove thus willed it; thus destiny directs. All the noblest of our country, in return for their bright achievements, are pursued with direful woes. This fatality is pressing hard on me--still I could endure disasters so great, and submit to woes hardly to be endured----

SOSIA  Blepharo.

BLEPHARO  What's the matter?

SOSIA  I don't know; I suspect something wrong.

BLEPHARO  Why?

SOSIA  Look, please, our master, like an humble courtier³ , is walking before the door bolted fast.

BLEPHARO  It's nothing; walking to and fro, he's looking for an appetite⁴ .

SOSIA  After a singular fashion, indeed; for he has shut the door, that it mayn't escape out of the house.

BLEPHARO  You do go yelping on.

SOSIA  I go neither yelping on nor barking on; if you listen to me, observe him. I don't know why he's by himself alone; he's making some calculation, I suppose. I can hear from this spot what he says-- don't be in a hurry.

AMPH.  (apart) . How much I fear lest the Gods should blot out the glory I have acquired in the conquest of the foe. In wondrous manner do I see the whole of my household in commotion. And then my wife, so full of viciousness, incontinence, and dishonor, kills me outright. But about the goblet, it is a singular thing; yet the seal was properly affixed. And what besides? She recounted to me the battles I had fought; Pterelas, too, besieged and bravely slain by my own hand, Aye, aye--now I know the trick; this was done by Sosia's contrivance, who as well has disgracefully presumed to-day to get before me on my arrival.

SOSIA  (to BLEPHARO) . He's talking about me, and in terms that I had rather not. Prithee, don't let's accost this man until he has disclosed his wrath.

BLEPHARO  Just as you please.

AMPH.  (apart) . If it is granted me this day to lay hold of that whip-scoundrel, I'll show him what it is to deceive his master, and to assail me with threats and tricks.

SOSIA  Do you hear him?

BLEPHARO  I hear him.

SOSIA  That implement (pointing to AMPHITRYON'S walkingstick) is a burden for my shoulder-blades. Let's accost the man, if you please. Do you know what is in the habit of being commonly said?

BLEPHARO  What you are going to say, I don't know; what you'll have to endure I pretty well guess.

SOSIA  It's an old adage--"Hunger and delay summon anger to the nostrils⁵ ."

BLEPHARO  Aye, and well suited to the occasion. Let's address him directly--Amphitryon!

AMPH.  (looking round) . Is it Blepharo I hear? It's strange why he's come to me. Still, he presents himself opportunely, for me to prove the guilty conduct of my wife. Why have you come here to me, Blepharo?

BLEPHARO  Have you so soon forgotten how early in the morning you sent Sosia to the ship, that I might take a repast with you to-day?

AMPH.  Never in this world was it done. But where is that scoundrel?

BELPH.  Who?

AMPH.  Sosia.

BLEPHARO  See, there he is. (Points at him.)

AMPH.  (looking about) . Where? BLEPH. Before your eyes; don't you see him?

AMPH.  I can hardly see for anger, so distracted has that fellow made me this day. You shall never escape my making a sacrifice of you. (Offers to strike SOSIA, on which BLEPHARO prevents him.) Do let me, Blepharo.

BLEPHARO  Listen, I pray.

AMPH.  Say on, I'm listening-- (gives a blow to SOSIA) you take that.

SOSIA  For what reason? Am I not in good time? I couldn't have gone quicker, if I had betaken myself on the oar-like wings⁶ of Dædalus. (AMPHITRYON tries to strike him again.)

BLEPHARO  Prithee, do leave him alone; we couldn't quicken our pace any further.

AMPH.  Whether it was the pace of a man on stilts or that of the tortoise, I'm determined to be the death of this villain. (Striking him at each sentence.) Take that for the roof; that for the tiles; that for closing the door; that for making fun of your master; that for your abusive language.

BLEPHARO  What injury has he been doing to you?

AMPH.  Do you ask? Shut out of doors, from that housetop (pointing to it) he has driven me away from my house.

SOSIA  What, I?

AMPH.  What did you threaten that you would do if I knocked at that door? Do you deny it, you scoundrel?

SOSIA  Why shouldn't I deny it? See, he's sufficiently a witness with whom I have just now come; I was sent on purpose that by your invitation I might bring him to your house.

AMPH.  Who sent you, villain?

SOSIA  He who asks me the question.

AMPH.  When, of all things?

SOSIA  Some little time since-not long since--just now. When you were reconciled at home to your wife.

AMPH.  Bacchus must have demented you.

SOSIA  May I not be paying my respects to Bacchus this day, nor yet to Ceres⁷ . You ordered the vessels to be made clean, that you might perform a sacrifice, and you sent me to fetch him (pointing to BLEPHARO) , that he might breakfast with you.

AMPH.  Blepharo, may I perish outright if I have either been in the house, or if I have sent him. (To SOSIA.) Tell me--where did you leave me?

SOSIA  At home, with your wife Alcmena. Leaving you, I flew towards the harbour, and invited him in your name. We are come, and I've not seen you since till now.

AMPH.  Villanous fellow! With my wife, say you? You shall never go away without getting a beating. (Gives him a blow.)

SOSIA  (crying out) . Blepharo! BLEPH. Amphitryon, do let him alone, for my sake, and listen to me.

AMPH.  Well then, I'll let him alone. What do you want? Say on.

BLEPHARO  He has just now been telling me most extraordi nary marvels. A juggler, or a sorcerer, perhaps, has enchanted all this household of yours. Do enquire in other quarters, and examine how it is. And don't cause this poor fellow to be tortured, before you understand the matter.

AMPH.  You give good advice; let's go in, I want you also to be my advocate against my wife. (Knocks at the door.)

Enter JUPITER, from the house.

JUPITER  Who with such weighty blows has been shaking this door on all the hinges? Who has been making such a great disturbance for this long while before the house? If I find him out, I'll sacrifice him to the shades of the Teleboans. There's nothing, as the common saying is, that goes on well with me to-day. I left Blepharo and Sosia that I might find my kinsman Naucrates; him I have not found, and them I have lost. But I espy them; I'll go meet them, to enquire if they have any news.

SOSIA  Blepharo, that's our master that's coming out of the house; but this man's the sorcerer.

BLEPHARO  O Jupiter! What do I behold? This is not, but that is, Amphitryon; if this is, why really that cannot be he, unless, indeed, he is double.

JUPITER  See now, here's Sosia with Blepharo; I'll accost them the first. Well, Sosia, come to us at last? I'm quite hungry.

SOSIA  Didn't I tell you, Blepharo, that this one was the sorcerer?

AMPH.  Nay, Theban citizens, I say that this is he (pointing to JUPITER) who in my house has made my wife guilty of incontinence, through whom I find a store of unchastity laid up for me.

SOSIA  (to JUPITER) Master, if now you are hungry, crammed full of fisticuffs, I betake me to you.

AMPH.  Do you persist, whip-scoundrel?

SOSIA  Hie thee to Acheron, sorcerer.

AMPH.  What, I a sorcerer? (Strikes him.) Take that.

JUPITER  What madness possesses you, stranger, for you to be beating my servant?

AMPH.  Your servant?

JUPITER  Mine.

AMPH.  You lie.

JUPITER  Sosia, go in-doors, and take care the breakfast is got ready while I'm sacrificing this fellow.

SOSIA  I'll go. (Aside.) Amphitryon, I suppose, will receive the other Amphitryon as courteously as I, that other Sosia, did me, Sosia, a while ago. Meantime, while they are contending, I'll turn aside into the victualling department² : I'll clean out all the dishes, and all the vessels I'll drain. (Goes into the house.)

JUPITER, AMPHITRYON, and BLEPHARO.

JUPITER  Do you say that I lie?

AMPH.  You lie, I say, you corrupter of my family.

JUPITER  For that disgraceful speech, I'll drag you along here, seizing you by the throat. (Seizes him by the throat.)

AMPH.  Ah wretched me!

JUPITER  But you should have had a care of this beforehand.

AMPH.  Blepharo, aid me!

BLEPHARO  (aside) . The two are so exactly alike that I don't know which to side with. Still, so far as possible, I'll put an end to their contention. (Aloud.) Amphitryon, don't slay Amphitryon in fight; let go his throat, I pray.

JUPITER  Are you calling this fellow Amphitryon?

BLEPHARO  Why not? Formerly he was but one, but now he has become double. While you are wanting to be he, the other, too, doesn't cease to be of his form. Meanwhile, prithee, do leave go of his neck.

JUPITER  I will leave go. (Lets go of AMPHITRYON.) But tell me, does that fellow appear to you to be Amphitryon?

BLEPR.  Really, both of you do.

AMPH.  O supreme Jupiter! when this day didst thou take from me my form? I'll proceed to make enquiry of him; are you Amphitryon?

JUPITER  Do you deny it?

AMPH.  Downright do I deny it, inasmuch as in Thebes there is no other Amphitryon besides myself.

JUPITER  On the contrary, no other besides myself; and, in fact, do you, Blepharo, be the judge.

BLEPHARO  I'll make this matter clear by proofs, if I can. (To AMPHITRYON.) Do you answer first.

AMPH.  With pleasure.

BLEPHARO  Before the battle with the Taphians was begun by you, what orders did you give me?

AMPH.  The ship being in readiness, for you carefully to keep close to the rudder.

JUPITER  That if our people should take to flight, I might betake myself in safety thither.

BLEPHARO  Anything else as well?

AMPH.  That the bag loaded with treasure should be carefully guarded.

JUPITER  Because the money----

BLEPHARO  Hold your tongue, you, if you please; it's my place to ask. Did you know the amount?

JUPITER  Fifty Attic talents.

BLEPHARO  He tells the truth to a nicety. And you (to AMPHITRYON) , how many Philippeans?

AMPH.  Two thousand.

JUPITER  And obols twice as many.

BLEPHARO  Each of you states the matter correctly. Inside the bag one of you must have been shut up.

JUPITER  Attend, please. With this right hand, as you know, I slew king Pterelas; his spoils I seized, and the goblet from which he had been used to drink I brought away in a casket; I made a present of it to my wife, with whom this day at home I bathed, I sacrificed, and slept.

AMPH.  Ah me! what do I hear? I scarcely am myself. For, awake, I am asleep; awake, I am in a dream; alive and well, I come to destruction. I am that same Amphitryon, the descendant of Gorgophone, the general of the Thebans, and the sole combatant for Creon against the Teleboans; I, who have subdued by my might the Acarnanians and the Taphians, and, by my consummate warlike prowess, their king. Over these have I appointed Cephalus, the son of the great Deioneus.

JUPITER  I am he who by warfare and my valour crushed the hostile ravagers. They had destroyed Electryon and the brothers of my wife.

BLEPHARO  Do you settle these matters between yourselves; I'm off, for I have business; and I do not think that I have ever anywhere beheld such extraordinary wonders.

AMPH.  Blepharo, I pray that you'll stay as my advocate, and not go away.

BLEPHARO  Farewell. What need is there of me for an advocate, who don't know which of the two to side with?

JUPITER  I'm going hence in-doors: Alcmena is in labour. (Exit BLEPHARO, and JUPITER goes into AMPHITRYON'S house.)

AMPH.  (aloud to himself) . I'm undone, wretch that I am; for what am I to do, when my advocates and friends are now forsaking me? Never, by heavens, shall he deride me unrevenged, whoever he is. Now will I betake myself straight to the king, and tell him of the matter as it has happened. By my faith, I will this day take vengeance on this Thessalian sorcerer, who has wrongfully distracted the minds of my household. But where is he? (Looking around.) By my troth, he's off into the house, to my wife, I suppose. What other person lives in Thebes more wretched than myself? What now shall I do? I, whom all men deny and deride just as they please. I am resolved; I'll burst into the house; there, whatever person I perceive, whether maid-servant or man-servant, whether wife or whether paramour, whether father or whether grandfather, I'll behead that person in the house; neither Jupiter nor all the Deities shall hinder me from this, even if they would, but that I'll do just as I have resolved. (As he advances to the door, it thunders, and he falls in a swoon upon the ground.)

Enter BROMIA, from the house, AMPHITRYON lying on the ground.

BROMIA  (to herself) . The hopes and resources of my life lie buried in my breast, nor is there any boldness in my heart, but what I have lost it. So much to me do all things seem, the sea, the earth, the heavens, to be conspiring, that now I may be crushed, that I may be destroyed. Ah, wretched me! I know not what to do. Prodigies so great have come to pass within the house. Ah! woe is me! I'm sick at heart, some water I could wish! I'm overpowered and I'm utterly undone. My head is aching, and I cannot hear, nor do I see well with my eyes No woman is there more wretched than myself, nor can one seem to be more so. Thus has it this day befallen my mistress; for when she invoked for herself the Deities of travail, what rumblings and grumblings  , crashes and flashes; suddenly, how instantaneously did it thunder, and how woundy loud. On the spot where each one stood, at the peal he fell; then some one, I know not who, exclaimed in a mighty voice, "Alcmena, succour is at hand, fear not: propitious both to thee and thine, the Ruler of the Heavens comes. Arise," it said, "ye who have fallen down in your terror through dread of me." As I lay, I arose; I fancied that the house was in flames. Then Alcmena called me; and then did that circumstance strike me with horror. Fears for my mistress took possession of me; I ran to her to enquire what she wanted; and then I beheld that she had given birth to two male children; not yet did any one of us perceive when she was delivered, or indeed expect it. (Sees AMPHITRYON.) But what's this? Who's this old man that's lying thus before our house? Has Jupiter then smitten him with his thunders? By my troth, I think so; for, oh Jupiter! he is in a lethargy just like one dead. I'll approach, that I may learn who it is. (She advances.) Surely, this is my master Amphitryon. (Calls aloud.) Ho! Amphitryon!

AMPH.  I'm dead.

BROMIA  Arise.

AMPH.  I'm slain outright.

BROMIA  Give me your hand. (Takes his hand.)

AMPH.  (recovering) . Who is it that has hold of me?

BROMIA  Bromia, your maid-servant.

AMPH.  (rising) . I tremble all over, to such a degree has Jove pealed against me. And no otherwise is it than if I had come hither from Acheron. But why have you come out of the house?

BROMIA  The same alarm has scared ourselves, affrighted with horror; in the house where you yourself dwell, have I seen astounding prodigies. Woe to me, Amphitryon; even now do my senses fail me to such a degree.

AMPH.  Come now, tell me; do you know me to be your master Amphitryon?

BROMIA  I do know it.

AMPH.  Look even once again.

BROMIA  I do know it.

AMPH.  She alone of all my household has a sane mind.

BROMIA  Nay but, really, they are all of them sane.

AMPH.  But my wife causes me to be insane by her own shameful practices.

BROMIA  But I'll make you, Amphitryon, to be holding other language; that you may understand that your wife is dutiful and chaste, upon that subject I will in a few words discover some tokens and some proofs. In the first place of all, Alcmena has given birth to two sons.

AMPH.  Two, say you?

BROMIA  Two.

AMPH.  The Gods preserve me!

BROMIA  Allow me to speak, that you may know that all the Deities are propitious to yourself and to your wife.

AMPH.  Say on.

BROMIA  After that, this day, your wife began to be in labour, when the pangs of childbirth came on, as is the custom with women in travail, she invoked the immortal Gods to give her aid, with washed hands and with covered head. Then forthwith it thundered with most tremendous crash. At first we thought that your house was falling; all your house shone bright, as though it had been made of gold.

AMPH.  Prithee, relieve me quickly from this, since you have kept me long enough in suspense. What happened then?

BROMIA  While these things were passing, meanwhile, not one of us heard your wife groaning or complaining; and thus, in fact, without pain was she delivered.

AMPH.  Then do I rejoice at this, whatever she has merited at my hands.

BROMIA  Leave that alone, and hear these things which I shall tell you. After she was delivered, she bade us wash the babes; we commenced to do so. But that child which I washed, how stout, how very powerful he is; and not a person was there, able to wrap him in the swaddling-clothes.

AMPH.  Most wondrous things you tell of. If these things are true, I do not apprehend but that succour has been brought to my wife from heaven.

BROMIA  Now shall I make you own to things more wondrous still. After he was laid in the cradle, two immense crested serpents glided down through the skylight; instantly they both reared their heads.

AMPH.  Ah me!

BROMIA  Be not dismayed--but the serpents began to gaze upon all around. After they beheld the children, quickly they made towards the cradle; I, fearing for the children, alarmed for myself, going backwards, began to draw and pull the cradle to and fro, and so much the more fiercely did the serpents pursue. After that one of the children caught sight of the serpents, he quickly leapt from the cradle, straightway he made an attack upon them, ana suddenly he grasped them, one in each hand.

AMPH.  You tell of wondrous things; a very fearful exploit do you relate; for at your words horror steals upon the limbs of wretched me. What happened then? Say on.

BBOM.  The child slew both the serpents. While these things are passing, in a loud voice there calls upon your wife----

AMPH.  What person----?

BROMIA  Jupiter, the supreme Ruler of Gods and men. He said that he had secretly enjoyed Alcmena in his embraces, and that he was his own son who had overcome those serpents; the other, he said, was your child.

AMPH.  By my troth, I am not sorry if I am allowed to take my half of a blessing in partnership with Jupiter. Go home, and bid the sacred vessels to be at once prepared for me, that with many victims I may seek my peace with supreme Jove. I will apply to Tiresias the soothsayer, and consult him what he considers ought to be done; at the same time I'll relate to him this matter just as it has happened. (It thunders.) But what means this? How dreadfully it thunders! Ye Gods, your mercy, I do entreat.

 JUPITER appears, in his own character, above.)

JUPITER  Be of good cheer, Amphitryon; I am come to thy aid: thou hast nothing to fear; all diviners and soothsayers let alone. What is to be, and what has past, I will tell thee; and so much better than they can, inasmuch as I am Jupiter. First of all, I have made loan of the person of Alcmena, and have caused her to be pregnant with a son. Thou, too, didst cause her to be pregnant, when thou didst set out upon the expedition; at one birth has she brought forth the two together. One of these, the one that is sprung from my parentage, shall bless thee with deathless glory by his deeds. Do thou return with Alcmena to your former affection; she merits not that thou shouldst impute it to her as her blame; by my power has she been compelled thus to act. I now return to the heavens. (He ascends.)

AMPH.  I'll do as thou dost command me; and I entreat thee to keep thy promises. I'll go in-doors to my wife. I dismiss the aged Tiresias from my thoughts.

An ACTOR.  Spectators, now, for the sake of supreme Jove , give loud applause.

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